The True Story of Bigfoot

Before this story begins, you really must know something about Jim. He has this uncanny ability to get anybody to do anything. My cousin Steve calls him "The Devil" because he is a (Jim's word) creative, (Angie's word) shameless instigator.

A couple years ago, Jim was visiting back home and staying at my Mom's house. He had been toying with the idea of a Bigfoot ruse for some time. The idea being to dress up in a Bigfoot costume then strategically walk near the road as a car was driving by to see if word got out that there was a Bigfoot in the area.

This is a typical Jim-ish prank, but a bad idea for two reasons. One, there are a lot of people with guns in that area. Two, there are a lot of people with guns in that area that drink.

So being the supreme instigator he is, he talked someone else into doing it under his tutelage.

I wasn't around during this event, but this is how the story was ultimately relayed to me, and keep in mind this was mid-June in Missouri, so it was steamy hot.

Jim: "OK, walk across the field and I'll tell you what to do."



Jim: "Now swing your arms a little more." (Jim grew up in the Pacific Northwest and knows a great deal about Bigfoot culture)



Jim: "This time look over at me as you're walking by, like in the famous Patterson footage of 1967." (I'm telling you, the boy knows his Bigfoot trivia)



Jim: "That was too much. Don't stop, just look at me as you walk by, and don't forget the arms."



Jim: "Perfect! Now let's go try it on the road."



Anonymous Bigfoot Culprit: "Can we take a break? I think I'm about to pass out."

They actually took their ploy to the road. One car even slowed down.

I believe it was around this time that Alan Anonymous Bigfoot Culprit came to his senses about the potential for dying of a heat stroke in a gorilla costume in mid-June, or being shot, stuffed and mounted on some Hillbilly's wall.