Confessions of a Frequent Flyer

Sometimes I pretend to sleep so the person next to me won't try to talk to me.

When I get upgraded to first class it makes me uncomfortable because I think other people look at me like I'm a snob.

I sneak flavored coffee creamer through security because I don't like their creamer.

I put my phone on silent and leave it on instead of turning it off.

Sometimes I pretend to be emailing but I'm really playing Brickbreaker.

My Lysol kept getting confiscated so I started putting into a hairspray container.

Sometimes I'll pass the time in airports by watching people walk by and making up a story about why they're traveling.

I'm always really friendly to the rental car people so they'll upgrade me to a nicer car.

When I'm reading a girly book on the plane, I take the cover off so it looks like maybe I'm reading classic literature.